her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
