I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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