What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
