So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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