nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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