That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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