If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We had sex on a dog bed..
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
