party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
