You're so nebulous sometimes
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
