"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
