Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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