I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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