Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
