wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
