I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
