where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
