Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
