it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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