Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
