is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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