All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
