do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
