Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
