I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
