Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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