I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
