I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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