I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
