Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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