Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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