dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
