I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
