I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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