thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
