no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
