I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
