It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
