you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Walk of Shame today included voting.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
