Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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