i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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