She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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