I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
