I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
