Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
