thus making me awesome and them whores
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
only you would photoshop your dick
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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