this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
