I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
