...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
you never un-have a 4some
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
