You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
