i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
