Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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